I tutor a guy who works at Lindt. In return for my services, he keeps me well stocked with fine chocolate. I’ve been unable to keep up with his donations, however (I don’t have much of a sweet tooth), so I need to find a home for about this much of it, otherwise I’ll have [...]

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Anthony Bourdain on Rachael Ray:
Complain all you want. It’s like railing against the pounding surf. She only grows stronger and more powerful. Her ear-shattering tones louder and louder. We KNOW she can’t cook. She shrewdly tells us so. So…what is she selling us? Really? She’s selling us satisfaction, the smug reassurance that mediocrity is quite [...]

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…courtesy of Jason Alexander and McDonalds.

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Why can’t things like this ever happen near me? Huh?

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A sausage cycle. Why is it that I really want to fill in that missing arrow? Because it’d be hilarious, that’s why.

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